bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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