Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
