try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize