Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
