I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
