okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
