yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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