Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
