Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dude i'm inner monologue high
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
