my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize