Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
