I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So squirting runs in the family.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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