I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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