The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
