bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
