Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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