I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
