I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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