Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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