please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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