we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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