Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize