you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize