On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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