Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
