Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize