I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
