i think my tv is drunk
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
