Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
