I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
