careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just tell him i said nine months
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
