Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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