I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
