I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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