No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Alive.
So much puke
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
