Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
