i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
