she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
