In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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