I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
