I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
