Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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