just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
