Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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