I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize