Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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