Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
