dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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