Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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