its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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