I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
