you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
