hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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