Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
