that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
