I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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