i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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