so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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