a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
