ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
