ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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