I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
