i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
