I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
