Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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