My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
