Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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