UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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